Tipping

Let’s talk about tipping. I’m not a fan of the basic idea that in addition to purchasing goods and services, customers are also expected to directly pay employee wages by tipping. I don’t like it, it feels wrong, and I’ll sign just about any petition you put in front of me to raise server and bartender wages, thereby making tipping in the United States optional again.

I hope you caught that last part. I’d like to make tipping optional again, because right now it isn’t. If you choose to go to a place where they bring your food and drink out to you, you tip. “But I could drink cheaper at home!” “I’m perfectly capable of getting my own food and drinks if they’d let me!” But you’re not at home. You chose to go out to a place with servers and bartenders knowing that the cultural norm in this country is to tip. At this point, there is nobody who is unaware that you are supposed to tip, so skipping it really just means you’re knowingly being a jerk.

There aren’t a lot of hard rules to tipping. Some people say it’s 15%, some say it’s $1 per drink. As a former bartender, I tip very well, usually in the 25-30% range. You don’t have to do that, but you do have to realize the choice you’re making. If you don’t open a tab (i.e. you’re paying for each drink as you get it) and then choose to tip low or not at all, it is a consequence of your actions that you will then receive slower service. A good bartender will serve every customer as soon as they are able, but they will obviously give priority treatment to the person taking care of them.

If there are only two people in front of me, I’m heading first to the one who is tipping a dollar per drink. I’ll get to the guy who isn’t tipping as soon as I have a chance. “But what if that one guy is just waiting to tip till the end?” That is definitely possible, but rarely the case. And I’m not going to risk upsetting the guy who just tipped me $10 on his last round because you MIGHT take care of me at the end of the night. What’s far more likely is that you’ll finish your last drink and toss two bucks on the bar as you head out.

By the way, I want to make sure you understand that while tipping is important, it doesn’t mean that if you throw enough money at a bartender, you can do whatever you want. Yes, a bartender will sometimes put up with more from someone tipping well, but there are lines. There were times when customers were aggressive, bordering on rude, but they were tipping well so I didn’t kick them out. But tipping well does not give you the right to be destructive, pick fights, or sexually harass anyone (staff or customer). I don’t care if you gave a bartender a five hundred dollar tip, it doesn’t entitle you to anything except quick service from that specific bartender. The other bartenders will likely take great care of you as well in hopes that they get the same, but you still aren’t entitled to anything beyond that.

Now, there are times when low to no tipping is acceptable. Those times are uncommon, but they exist. Usually when my service is bad enough for me to consider not tipping, I just tip low and then talk to a manager. No sense in ruining someone’s rent payment just because they’re having a bad day. If it becomes a trend, I go to a different bartender or if it’s that’s the only bartender, I go to a different bar. There are very, very few instances where not tipping is an acceptable answer. That being said, there are one or two. I once had a server who, when I told her there was a bug in my drink, replied, “It’s just a gnat,” then stared at me until I demanded a new drink. That same server went on to charge one friend’s credit card three separate times, and put someone else’s items on my tab. She got no tip AND a complaint to the manager.

So the short version is: tip your servers, and don’t be mad if you get poor treatment when you don’t. I suppose it’s kind of pointless to give a short version after the long version, but that’s just how I do things.

That’s all for now, this week’s recipe is the classic Old Fashioned, a favorite of Paul’s.

Old Fashioned

• In a rocks glass, muddle 4 dashes of bitters, 1 tsp sugar, & a splash of club soda
• Add and muddle a maraschino cherry and an orange wheel
• Remove the orange rind
• Add 2 oz bourbon
• Fill glass with ice
• Garnish with fresh orange wheel and maraschino cherry