Drink What You Want

I’m a man of strong opinions, and I’m an even stronger defender of those opinions.

I don’t really have a middle ground; everything for me is either Matchbox Twenty or Space Jam (and if you don’t know which is which, then you’re Matchbox Twenty and I hope you get a peanut allergy). That being said, there’s one area where I think everyone should be allowed to like what they like: drinking.

Drinking is great, and unless they have a problem, everyone should do it. Who cares what anyone else likes? What someone else drinks has literally no bearing on how you exist as a person. It’s fine not to like something, but judging someone for liking something you don’t is stupid. It doesn’t affect you. Unless you’re going to a party where you aren’t allowed to bring something of your own, and they’re only serving Pepe Lopez tequila, what someone else likes means nothing. Also, just don’t go to that party. Gross.

A guy at a bar once made fun of me for liking Jim Beam. His alternative suggestion was that I drink Johnnie Walker Blue Label. He said, “I think Johnnie Blue just tastes better.” First of all, of course it does. A shot of Johnnie Walker Blue costs the same as a bottle of Jim Beam. It either needs to taste better or do my taxes for me. The catch is, this guy and I are going to get the same level of drunk tonight, on the same number of drinks. And tomorrow I’ll be able to pay rent. He doubled down, saying the cost is worth it because of the superior flavor. I’m not drinking for flavor. If I want to drink for flavor, I’ll have a milkshake. I’m drinking because I hate my job, like a grown-up.

Listen, this is an easily exhaustible premise, so this month’s post is going to be short. Just don’t be a dick, let people enjoy whatever drink they want to enjoy. The only way it affects you is if you’re a jerk flying off the handle because you don’t think that what they’re drinking is good enough. Note: this does not apply to bartenders not wanting to make some overcomplicated nonsense drink for you like a Harvey Wallbanger [You didn’t think I’d forget, did you, Paul? -Dan]. This is specifically about letting people like what they like. If what you like is an inconvenience to the bartender, they get to talk as much shit as they want.

This month’s recipe? It’s a shot of Jim Beam. Chill it or don’t, it’s up to you. Enjoy!